Why Boys Can't Be Girls

I have read some texts on how boys are scrutinised if they happen to act and behave like girls. However, if a girl acts like a boy, its considered fine. Why is it such a big deal in society if boys act and behave like girls?

A text I read very recently talked about this issue and how “boys are being sliced up from early childhood”. The author, Dr Yvette Blackwood’s friend, Mina, has two boys who dress up like girls. Instead of wearing the typical cowboys and superhero costumes, they were more interested in wearing fairy dressed and tutus. Then she goes on to saying how people find this extremely weird and consider Mina’s boys to be transsexual or gay.

So why is it that boys have to move towards masculinity from childhood while girls can take the femininity path much later in life? Well, this is because society sees masculinity as the “golden standard” and femininity as degrading. If you have ever seen the hit TV series Life On Mars then you would recognise that until recently, women have been harassed and not taken seriously in the workplace. The show is set in 1973 and a female nurse, Annie Cartwright is subject to sexual harassment from her male colleagues. She’s not taken seriously just because of her gender.

As femininity is associated with degrade, parents fear for their boys as society would not accept them if they happen to end up being feminine. What if for example a “boy” would like to explore his inner femininity? In reality, a boy’s femininity is usually "killed off" during his childhood as everyone discourages the boy to any sort feminine behaviours.

Have a look at primary school kids, especially the ones in younger years such as year 1. Have a look at how the boys act and behave compared to the girls. In dance classes for example boys don't like dancing with the girls. Its like as if they are afraid of the girls standing in front of them. Also look at how girls engage romance from a very early age while boys are again afraid of it. This shows us that boys are positioned to be afraid from any sort of feminine attitudes.

Have you ever seen the sports each gender engages? Most sports that boys are encouraged to involve themselves in include some sort of physical violence. AFL, NFL, NHL, NBA are just some example of sports which boys are encouraged to take. Other sports such as dancing, figure skating aren't options for the “typical” boy as they are discouraged to get involved in non-contact sports (with a few exceptions such as batting sports such as baseball and tennis). This is because non-contact sports are seen as something girls get involved in. The flowchart below shows this relationship.

1. contact sport  = masculinity

masculinity = good

2. non-contact sport = girls

girls = femininity

femininity = bad

The problem is that society can't adapt to “change”. Men usually have a stronger physical build compared to women. For this reason, in history, men have usually been the hunters that tackled the "big boys" such as deers and boars. The women worked just as much as the men, but, the problem was that they provided the side dish vegetables compared to the “juicy steak”. The point I'm trying to make here is that women can be just as, or smarter than men, however, due to physical restrictions, they’re usually not as strong. So in a time where knowledge was not as important as physical strength, allowed men to become the dominant gender and masculinity as the “golden standard”. Now that the physical barrier is removed in most cases; men are still seen as the dominant gender and masculinity is still the “golden standard”. Why is this?

How does this impact us as people living in this world?

Well to start with, we can see that women and femininity are still not taken as seriously as men and are subject to subtle sexual harassment such as the classic “slap on the ass”.

Its not a matter of getting the majority of people to change to force change on society's standards. Also an interesting fact is that this change will not happen overnight. I think it would take a couple of generations to completely change the old mindset. This is because people cannot radically change. It takes "baby steps" to change the roots of a mindset that has been in existence since we have civilised.

So all in all, why can’t boys act and behave like girls? Well the answer is quite simple; people’s attitudes have not changed towards transsexuality and like I said before, its not a something we can change overnight.